I am convinced that all cereals are loaded with addictive substances.
It's natural to assume that someone like me, with zero interest in cooking, would reach often for ease, convenience, and deliciousness in a bowl. When I tumble out of bed in the morning with leaded eyelids, dragging myself into the kitchen to make breakfast for my bright-eyed and bracingly chipper toddler, cereal is my godsend. My repertoire for late night snacks may include a plethora of fattening and delicious brownie, cookie, or ice creamy options (and other chocolatey, pastry temptations), so if I'm trying to reign in the sweet tooth a bit, why wouldn't I go more often for a small bowl of cereal? I can see how readily and happily I lean on it, like a meal time crutch made of sweet, pressed flakes of various grains, but considering my options, surely I'm excused from the cereal over-consumption equation.
Nope. We have absolutely no excuse. My husband is a chef. He loves to cook, and regularly makes incredible dishes. Dishes which result in leftovers. Leftovers are just as easy as a bowl of cereal, sometimes easier. And yet...
Cereal casts a spell of beckoning on the human brain. A thousand options might stand before you, but one mention of cereal and suddenly nothing else sounds delicious. When you need to eat, but just can't seem to decide what you're hungry for, throw the cereal option into the ring, and watch how fast all hands reach for their spoons. Little-known fact: the Sirens in The Odyssey were actually not such great singers; their alluring power came from waving boxes and bowls of cereal at passing ships. Those little devils.
Have you ever read the ingredients on the average box of cereal? We tend to buy the more health-oriented ones, all grainy and branny and wholesomer than Lepro-charms and such. Even so, what is Thiamin Mononitrate, or Niacinamide? These could very well be crack, people.
Hyperbole and a Half, which you should definitely be reading.)
I've decided to begin a quest to respect the power of cereal. I imagine I might go through some pretty intense withdrawal symptoms if I cut it out entirely, so I'm just going to wean and see what happens. I may check myself into a celebrity rehab/spa, too, just to be safe.