Monday, November 17, 2014

Neglect

Leave it alone for too long and it loses its form. It becomes emaciated, or shapeless, or blobbish. This is not ideal. Absolutely not recommended.

But spend too much time on it and it can cause an obsession that leads to grotesque outcomes. Overdone. Too far. Hard to watch.

What I'm trying to say is, exercise is great for everyone. Except you, extreme body builders. It's too much. Bring it down a thousand notches.

Thanks,
Management

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Phone Woes.

I am now no stranger to the water-damaged electronics process. 

Which is a terrible truth. 

Honestly, all that R&D money... Surely some of it is going into waterproof phones? Anyone? 


Monday, March 31, 2014

Spelling, You Guys. She's a Ruthless Mistress.

Naval Gazing vs. Navel Gazing




  • Look, Bobby! Look at the magnificent ships as they pass by in the bay!



  • Look, Bobby; becoming a successful adult requires the subtle skill of criticizing yourself more harshly than any other being on the planet could hope to achieve. It's an exercise in self-hate, really. Try it a little each day until you've mastered it. 



-alternately-


  • Look, Bobby! Study the lint in it's natural habitat--my belly button! Isn't it just fascinating?!



Sunday, March 30, 2014

Dormancy

Ah, the obligatory, apologetic exposition regarding an unintended sabbatical post.

This little blog home is more than a bit dusty at the moment, sadly, and surely seems likely to continue as such. At least until June. 

Working a great deal between two different, beloved jobs (and still managing to feed and occasionally bathe children) while adjusting to the husband's new and even more rigorous schedule, all simultaneously concurring with longer writing projects at hand, have meant a loss of attention to the Harkness. 

Never fear, I'll make certain the place is thoroughly (and a bit more regularly) swept, for the allergy prone. 


Friday, December 20, 2013

It's in the details...

Aaron is always running into free sunglasses, partially because he works near the beach, where they get left behind almost daily. 

Today he was wearing a pair of off-brand Ray Ban-ish shades, with one too many feminine details to keep them from a unisex classification. I endeavored to enlighten him, with hilarious results, especially when Miah chimed in at the end. 

Krisann: Those are for women.
Husband: They're fine.
Krisann: They're not the right size for your face.
Aaron: They're exactly the same size as my last ones that broke.
Krisann: They have tortoiseshell coloring.
Aaron: So?
Krisann: The print is vaguely giraffe-esque.
Aaron: What? No it isn't.
Krisann: They say "Jolie Rose" on both sides and the front.
Aaron: That says Joel Ross.
Krisann: Those are 100% ladies' sunglasses.
Miah: Those are ladytastic!
Krisann: You are so my kid.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

What happens when I'm sick...

Me: blah. please come home and take care of meeeeeee!

Me: i think i am a ghost.
Me: i coughed so much that I coughed up my soul and now I'm a computer-using ghost.
Husband: Here I come to save the DAAA- uh... NIIIIIIGGGHT!
Me: wooooOOOOooooo
Me: i'm a ghooOOooossst
Husband: Yay!
Me: yay? you want a ghost wife?
Husband: No. I thought you were saying woo. As in woohoo!
Me: you really need to read your texts better
Husband: Whatevs. Stop delaying my return!
Me: ghost wife can ONLY text so you need to work on your reading comprehension so we don't have any communication snaffus or mistaken hauntings


Sunday, June 30, 2013

Things I have woken up in the middle of the night to write down, thinking they were GENIUS, only to be baffled by them in the morning, Part 2.

In my dreamworld, these were all killer ideas.


  • Last night I dreamt that pinterest was not called pinterest, it was called Corinthians. It was pretty much the same, except we all referred to it with verse numbers. “Did you see that DIY chair makeover on Corinthians 4:13?”
  • I should write a story about a boy who wants to hide his candy, so he decides to bury it like he’s heard a dog will do to have his bone all to himself. But when he goes back to get his candy it’s been mostly eaten away by ants, and he goes on this whole educational journey to learn how the micro ecosystem of undersoil insects and bacterias functions. It’ll be a bit like Magic School Bus, except fueled by revenge. 
  • In the blurry, confused state of 6am this morning, I looked outside and saw cloud cover; rather than even a hint of blue or gray, the sky seemed rather white. My sleep-brained-self concocted a story in which the sky went entirely white one day, and all of the various communities within humanity’s reactions to it were noted. The end-timers decrying their doomsdays; the scientists working hard to discern the nature of the change while the fear mongers pointed to global warming or alien invasion in rants and raves; the conspiracy theorists with their political assumptions and, “Dude. Glitch in the Matrix!” philosophies, and so on. It was actually more stressful than you'd think.
  • Dreamed there was a dance show and one day the director announced, “Seal up the doors, we’re adding sharks!” then proceeded to add two feet of water, and several small breeds of shark to the room backstage, and one of the performers yelled, “So we’re just supposed to sit here while sharks punch our legs?”

Read the original.