Look, Bobby! Look at the magnificent ships as they pass by in the bay!
Look, Bobby; becoming a successful adult requires the subtle skill of criticizing yourself more harshly than any other being on the planet could hope to achieve. It's an exercise in self-hate, really. Try it a little each day until you've mastered it.
Look, Bobby! Study the lint in it's natural habitat--my belly button! Isn't it just fascinating?!
Ah, the obligatory, apologetic exposition regarding an unintended sabbatical post.
This little blog home is more than a bit dusty at the moment, sadly, and surely seems likely to continue as such. At least until June.
Working a great deal between two different, beloved jobs (and still managing to feed and occasionally bathe children) while adjusting to the husband's new and even more rigorous schedule, all simultaneously concurring with longer writing projects at hand, have meant a loss of attention to the Harkness.
Never fear, I'll make certain the place is thoroughly (and a bit more regularly) swept, for the allergy prone.
Aaron is always running into free sunglasses, partially because he works near the beach, where they get left behind almost daily.
Today he was wearing a pair of off-brand Ray Ban-ish shades, with one too many feminine details to keep them from a unisex classification. I endeavored to enlighten him, with hilarious results, especially when Miah chimed in at the end.
Krisann: Those are for women. Husband: They're fine. Krisann: They're not the right size for your face. Aaron: They're exactly the same size as my last ones that broke. Krisann: They have tortoiseshell coloring. Aaron: So? Krisann: The print is vaguely giraffe-esque. Aaron: What? No it isn't. Krisann: They say "Jolie Rose" on both sides and the front. Aaron: That says Joel Ross. Krisann: Those are 100% ladies' sunglasses. Miah: Those are ladytastic! Krisann: You are so my kid.
Last night I dreamt that pinterest was not called pinterest, it was called Corinthians. It was pretty much the same, except we all referred to it with verse numbers. “Did you see that DIY chair makeover on Corinthians 4:13?”
I should write a story about a boy who wants to hide his candy, so he decides to bury it like he’s heard a dog will do to have his bone all to himself. But when he goes back to get his candy it’s been mostly eaten away by ants, and he goes on this whole educational journey to learn how the micro ecosystem of undersoil insects and bacterias functions. It’ll be a bit like Magic School Bus, except fueled by revenge.
In the blurry, confused state of 6am this morning, I looked outside and saw cloud cover; rather than even a hint of blue or gray, the sky seemed rather white. My sleep-brained-self concocted a story in which the sky went entirely white one day, and all of the various communities within humanity’s reactions to it were noted. The end-timers decrying their doomsdays; the scientists working hard to discern the nature of the change while the fear mongers pointed to global warming or alien invasion in rants and raves; the conspiracy theorists with their political assumptions and, “Dude. Glitch in the Matrix!” philosophies, and so on. It was actually more stressful than you'd think.
Dreamed there was a dance show and one day the director announced, “Seal up the doors, we’re adding sharks!” then proceeded to add two feet of water, and several small breeds of shark to the room backstage, and one of the performers yelled, “So we’re just supposed to sit here while sharks punch our legs?”
First of all, my apologies on the tardiness! Sadly, small electronics seem to be capable of a lot more trouble than you'd expect. I'm going to need some professional help to dredge all the iced tea out of my macbook (resultant of my sweet toddler trying to bring a glass to me, but tripping and spilling all over my lap, and, well, laptop), but in the meantime, here are some stories.
Being an incredibly social creature by nature (and growing up with a reputation for clowning, animated story-telling, performing, and bringing the fun energy to gatherings), meant that for most of my developing and adult life, it just didn't occur to me that not everyone had to, or should, have the same level of access to me - that I was allowed to decide, nay, that it was beneficial to decide who could hear what was inside my heart, and when. Before this revelation, personal details of triumphs and failures were dropped into any conversation by whomever asked, regardless and without much consideration. Just about any acquaintance, old friend, or newish friend could find out the details of how my day truly was going. While I can remember feeling like it was a bit uncomfortable at times, I considered myself more 'unabashed' than an over-sharer, and shrugged it off.
There is no real defining moment I can gloriously detail about how I began to change my way of thinking on this. I can say, that at one point, that the first
time a trusted adviser told me that not everyone had to know the ongoing
struggles of my family's finances, I felt like I had caught my first
deep breath after an asthma attack."Yes, that feels better," I remember thinking.The rest though, has just been a slow changeover to a new way of thinking, and beginning to understand that throwing something you value (or just yourself) before the mercy of just anyone and hoping it all works out is haphazard and foolhardy at best. It's been nearly a decade of practicing life with boundaries in place. Before, I was the 'my life is an open book' girl, and I thought that was just the way I was built, no two ways about it. The problem was that even though it always felt true, it didn't feel, for lack of a better term, safe. I'm a big fan of the word 'intent.' Not insomuch as it has come to be known (somehow synonymous with intend), but in the classic sense. With intent, and with purpose, I take this life of mine and point it, with my love, my skills, passions, talents, and whatever I have to offer, toward my targets. I care for myself by letting only proven, trustworthy friends have access to the deep things in my life and heart.
I'm not going to go into a great deal of specifics about what that means, because realistically, it will be completely different for you. A good place to start, though, is to define what's non-negotiable for you, and move from there. Anyone who tramples on one of your non-negotiables is the first to be placed at a distance, while you see if they react well to your asking them to adjust their hurtful behavior.
If they can not, or if you're meeting someone new, remember that your inner circle and your outer circles have different levels of access to you and no one is going to take care of those boundaries for you. It's my own job to carefully guard my fences.
So, if you see me at a party and may be confused, because I seem bubbly and warm while entertaining or making people laugh, but my arms are still crossed, it's just because I'm holding my sleeves in close to my heart.