Thursday, November 10, 2011

Style Tips for the Time-Challenged

You're a modern, busy woman. Between child-bearing and rearing, workin hard for the money, self-defense and yoga classes, bank deposits and errand trips, learning photography and painting, summiting Mt. Laundry, and reading Yelp two hours a day, you have a lot on your plate, and you're expected to look good getting it all done. It sounds impossible, but lucky for you, I've got a few simple tips.

1. Side-swept Bangs
The next time you change up your hairstyle, acquire some versatile, side-sweeping bangs. They should be just long enough to cover one eyebrow, and therefore negating the need to regularly keep both eyebrows plucked. Just do the one that shows and catch up on the other when you have time.

2. Buy a Wide Belt
Bloaty days. Ugh. Defeat them by defiantly wearing oversized t-shirts for maximum comfort. Keep a wide belt in your car and snap in on over your near dress-proportion of a shirt the moment just before you step out of the vehicle. Mess your hair a bit and throw on a 3XL cardigan to add to the irony, and you're set.

3. Closed-toed Shoes
Pedicures take forever. I'm pretty sure my last pedicure was over six years ago. Once my children are all in school, I'll look into it again. Until then, flat slip-on shoes with closed toes are the daily necessity.

4. Baby Wipes
Just keep packs of baby wipes everywhere. Things in your life are crazy, you will get spilled on, you will forget to put on deodorant, you will apply mascara to your lips, thinking you grabbed the gloss. Buy cases of wipes and never have to rock the 'Accidental Goth' again.

5. Carry a Travel Mug
If you really look terrible, holding a travel mug in your hand sends a strong statement. "I know, but look--I'm on my way to take care of it. Right. Now."

6. Blame it on Your Children/Work/Pet/The Alcohol
You'll get the most sympathy if you go with 'pet' here.

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