Things I have woken up in the middle of the night to write down, thinking they were GENIUS, only to be baffled by them in the morning...

In my dreamworld, these were all killer ideas.

• "I made a deal with Rumplestltskin. It's not that I don't know how to spell that word; it's that I CAN NEVER know how to spell it!"

• "Set phasers to STUNNA!" *as sunglasses are being flipped down onto face*

• Pacifiers and socks conspire against us for mutual lostness. Maybe they are in a decades-long game of hide-and-seek to the death with each other, and we are just the by-standing casualties of their war.
• "Who has the ride away?"
  "The what?"
  "The ride away! When you know it's your turn, and you can ride away."
  "You can't be serious."

• The great (and lost) debates between the famous thinkers with their lesser-known colleague, the Greek philosopher Diabetes. Spoiler alert--most of his points are about donuts.
• You know that moment when you're crafting a project or building a little household something, and you realize all in an instant exactly what you've done wrong to lead you to this point of no return? Do you think the guys who carved the Easter Island Heads had a moment like that, as they watched their full-bodied statues sink into the fertile earth beneath the far too-weighty faces?   "Aw, Jerry, I knew we should have brought the glue gun."

Actually, I may use some of these yet.