Momventures.

All of my day happened in a few minutes shy of one hour.

I had a headache, and was in and out of cohesive thinking ability for several straight hours. When I finally beat it into submission (win!), the entire contents of my day needed to be attended to RIGHT THIS SECOND. Here's how that looked:

Congratulations on resting, hydrating, and finding yourself headache-free! Your brain is now free to recognize things it could not before, like the fact that you are unbelievably hungry! Better get dinner started.

Wait a moment... Notice anything? You are hungry. Miss Ezra is hungrier. Feed the bebe.

"Yes, my Miah girl. I'm hungry too. Just as soon as I finish feeding your sister I'm going to start on our dinner."

Baby's done! Have a quick check on the state of her diaper. Status: pooped in.

Okay, self. Quickly gather diaper changing supplies and lay her on the changing mat. (Because she's so dang cute, hug and kiss her for moment.)

Hey, Self, you might want to get the water on and boiling while doing this.

Good idea! Wait here for two seconds, baby. Oh my, the kitchen's quite cluttered. While you're cooking, you should have a clear space on the counter for Ezra to sit in her bumbo seat near you. 

Clear the counter, throw a few dishes into the washer. Get ingredients from the cupboard. Forget to start the water.

"Yes Miah, I'm making gnocchi."

Go to change Ezra. Realize the clean diapers are in the wash. Get a spare from the diaper bag--but she just leaked poop into this cover. EVERY other cover is in that wash. 

"Yes Miah, go potty." 

Go out and throw the load into the dryer.

Put the new clean diaper on the baby and hope she waits a bit to pee. 

Finally  start the water on the stove.

Help miah finish pulling her undies back up.

Go out to the dryer, because the covers take like, two minutes to dry completely. Surely one of them is done.

Something. Is. Not. Right.

Look down and realize the diapers were NOT clean. They had been rinsed, but not washed. 

Curse under your breath. 

"Oh god that smell." Put all the diapers and all but one cover back into the wash, praying the dryer hasn't heat-set the nasty into them. 

Salt the water on the stove.

Take the cover and wash it quickly in the sink. 

Put the cover on. 

Keep Miah from touching the hot stove. Put on music for her to dance & entertain herself.

Finish clearing the counter and put Ezra in her seat to watch. 

Add gnocchi to boiling water. 
Open can of sauce. 
Strain gnocchi and call Miah over for dinner. Feed/eat.

Haters Gonna Hate

Sorry I couldn't hear you criticizing me; the sound of my own awesomeness was ringing too loudly in my ears. 

Imagine That

I started to dramatically recite the hallelujah chorus from Handel's Messiah, and was rather tickled at Miss M's choosing to follow me with her own, passionate, "Hal-ah-you-ah!"

Important Letters

Dear Freshly-washed Baby,

You are the softest thing I have ever snuggled, and I love you for it.

Love, me.

Stress Eating on a Budget: A How-To Guide.

Ah, stress eating. What a glorious part of human tradition. Our ancestral genetics communicate the fear of death or pain and trigger our bodies to store up some insulation for coping with the terrors of pre-industrialized life. Things to be truly frightened of - killer diseases like colds and diarrhea, or natural predators like raging fires burning our twig huts, and the sabre-toothed cat attacks that are sure to follow - are defended by adding carbs and fat for energy and healing surpluses. The same fantastic impulses periodically race efficaciously through your brain's survival response too, the only difference being our stressors now are more like break ups, taxes, and failing at the same Angry Birds level 37 times and counting (10-1 of Chapter 4--curse those hateful boomerang birds. I'm glad your offspring were stolen from you to be devoured by swine; you certainly don't deserve to reproduce!).

Since you recently paid your taxes and you're too busy pursuing vengeance on behalf of our avian compadres to work much, you're going to need to handle all your stress ingestion on the cheap. Not to worry; the following shopping list will show you how to do just that. Ready? Next time you go to the store, buy:

1. Pasta
Most places still offer a 1-lb bag of carbalicious heaven for around a buck. Stock well. Add butter sauce, tomato sauce, a handful of shredded cheese, or any combination of those, all for mere cents per serving. Change it up often; we don't want you burning out on your carbo-loading.

2. Chocolate.
Combine with just about any fruit for maximum caloric intake on that stress-gorging streak. Bananas are a good choice because they are cheaper than dirt. In fact, now that you mention it...

3. Bananas.
Ice cream is expensive. Buy an unholy amount of bananas. Freeze some when they turn solid brown and mushy. Mash some frozen banans up with some cocoa powder. 30¢ Dessert. Done. Eat fifty of these in a week if you want, I don't care.

4. In'n'Out Burger.
For the splurgey days. Get a shake (chocolate or vanilla--not strawberry) and a burger & fries. Dip your fries in your shake. Don't ask questions, just do it. You'll see.

5. Mashed Potatoes.
Keep potatoes on hand. When you're stressed, mash them by hand. Don't let machines do the work for you; really dig into whatever's making you uppity and picture it in there with those potatoes, being destroyed by your brute strength. Then eat the whole bowl of potatoes with your bare hands. Who's going to stop you? Nobody. Grab a spoon if you add gravy, though... nobody likes a slob.


Take these simple tips to heart next time you need to show those little green pigs you're serious about coming after them and destroying their thieving, greedy colony with the raw power of your potato-mashing muscles.

Speaking of angry birds, though, have you guys seen this?

They already haunt me on my phone; why in 3D too?
Curse you, Angry Birds.

Shameless plug

but I'm not even getting paid...

I am utterly addicted to Pinterest these days (hit me up if you would like to try it; they are still granting (FREE!) accounts on an invite-only basis).

It's simply ingenious.

What is it? The old concept of keeping an inspiration board/book/notepad now in the place you could use it the most: the internet. Keep images with descriptions (as opposed to pages and pages of links stored someplace; formerly google notebook, in my case) at your fingertips--quite literally, if you have an iPhone and download the app. I totally have the app.

Have a Spring fashions shopping list you want to remember for you next run to the mall? Pin photos of your favorite threads to have handy for your splurge. Planning a bathroom remodel? Start an ideas board of all the new design elements, keeping track of price and item location. Everything is right in front of you, and you can narrow down the choices as you go.

It's interactive, too. I can follow various boards you curate, and you can track mine. We can pin from one another and from total strangers, as well as comment on pins and steal inspiration from our most creative friends' best stuff. Not forgetting that they are just starting out; who knows what kind of incredible features they'll add as time goes on. What is not to love here?

The 5 Stages of Grief, Abridged

We parked just outside the front doors of the Mexican Mercado where Aaron was acquiring the groceries for tonight's dinner. Miss M spotted him approaching the line, and excitedly yelled, "I see my daddy!"
A moment later he was hidden behind a long line of other shoppers, disappearing from our sight. "Where is he? He went away! Well, I guess I have to get a different daddy."